Sarah’s 10 Point Reviews- “Byzantium” (Movie)

byzantium-5202bea205235

  1. Neil Jordan knows how to set a tone, amirite? If you’re keeping score, this is the second vampire adaptation he’s nailed.
  2. Everyone on this screen seems fundamentally broken in some way. I love it.
  3. Gemma Arteton always chews the scenery. In a good way.
  4. I always assumed Saoirse Ronan was wearing contacts, but no. Her eyes are truly that soul-eating.
  5. Movies like this make me forget Johnny Lee Miller used to be cute.
  6. This is what is meant by the setting being a character on its own. The entire set, while probably lovely in another context, is positioned in a way that screams: “this is where hope comes to die.”
  7. Finally, someone offers something somewhat original in the vampire realm! It was so refreshing I could even forgive that no explanation on the vampire brotherhood was offered other than: “Here’s a map. Go to this cave. If you have a phobia of bats, this might not be your thing.”
  8. More than a little pleased to find no sparkling.
  9. Note to self: if a child ever brings me an essay outlining their history as a vampire, just smile and nod. By all means, do not confront the mother.
  10. My friend tells me this story is based on an Irish play, but she can’t seem to track it down. Internet, you have a job to do.

Overall Score: B+

____________________
 
I read. I watch original cable shows. I take in a movie from time to time. And most of what I absorb can be described in ten bullet points. Thus, Sarah’s 10 Point Reviews was born. You’ll find no rhyme or reason to what and when I review something. My motivations tend to as random as my reviews. You’re welcome to add your own ten bullets in the comments, if the mood strikes.

Enjoy!

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